Are you a bully?
If you watch TV, then I am sure you saw the piece on the WI news anchorwoman who addressed, on air, a very judgmental email she received from a viewer. He basically called her obese and asked her how she could consider herself a role model for young girls (among other things). I love that she addressed it immediately and called him a bully. I agree.
He somehow rationalized that he was performing some sort of public service to draw her weight to her attention. Come on! How could he be that delusional? What woman who is even remotely over-weight doesn’t know it and bully herself constantly in some way.
Couple of insights we can all remember here….First, she is a beautiful Kapha woman who would NEVER fit today’s ideal of a perfect body unless she was sickly and emaciated. What makes a Kapha beautiful is the layer of fat that rounds and softens the pointy parts over the whole body!
To quote Gwyneth Paltrow when asked about her being proclaimed “most beautiful” in some magazine (I paraphrase), I am flattered but 100 years ago my look would have been that of a scullery maid, sickly, unattractive and possibly contagious. Kudos, Gwen! The epitome of beauty then was the look of the Newscaster! (I digress… Back to the issue.)
To quote Wayne Dyer, “His opinion of her is none of her business.” It is, however, difficult to rise above the good opinion of others. It must be practiced.
Second, they tracked the guy down (of course) and this morning. He was ambushed by the local news and seemed honestly surprised that she was offended in any way. Amazing! Talk about being unaware! He rationalized his statements by saying HE was obese as a child. I can just imagine the lessons he is learning today that can benefit us all. Karma, baby! The instant kind!
BTW, in the photos of the newscaster, she has three kids in tow, one of them a baby!
To quote a Native American proverb, “Never judge a (wo)man until you have walked a mile in her/his moccasins.”
Lately, I have been trying to practice a Buddhist principle that goes like this: Before you speak (or tweet, email or text), pass the words through these three veils: Is it true, is it kind, is it necessary? If it doesn’t pass easily through, don’t say it! How does one know if is passes easily through? Look to the body. Look for what? Sensations of comfort or discomfort. The body never rationalizes. (I am pretty sure the Rotary 4 Way Test was borrowed from this principle. I recall they add “Is it beneficial to all”… I was a Rotarian when I was in the insurance biz!)
What does all this have to do with Yoga? As you move mindfully on your mat and as you sit in silence and stillness in meditation, you become more aware. As you become more aware, you reduce the possibility of bullying anyone…including yourself. It is just that unbelievably simple.